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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843682">I Kind of Like It</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/disastertm/pseuds/disastertm'>disastertm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>in any reality, i'd wish for you [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Persona 5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Kissing and making out, M/M, No actual sex occurs, Persona 5: The Royal Spoilers, Status Effects, alt fic title was 'fellas is it gay to tenderly patch a homie's wounds', based on that one infamous navi line about enraged joker, brief depictions of persona-typical battle violence, but there are mentions of masturbation and erections that warranted the mature rating!, goro akechi's thirst for akira: the fic, third semester spoilers, very vague non-serious wound descriptions</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 06:09:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,414</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24843682</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/disastertm/pseuds/disastertm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A closer look exposes a vacant red hue dulling Joker's eyes. He's been hit with a status effect. Enraged. </p><p>Ah, Goro thinks eloquently, fuck.</p><p>"Joker, you're -" he begins, but Joker has already launched himself at the Shadow with a mangled growl. </p><p>Joker, you're so fucking hot when you're angry, Goro finishes in the privacy of his own mind. </p><p>Or:</p><p>The aftermath of a status effect might just be the push Akechi and Akira need to get their shit together and air some long-buried feelings.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>in any reality, i'd wish for you [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1797157</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>599</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I Kind of Like It</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this fic was intended as a quick writing exercise to get me accustomed to writing akeshu and their dynamic. it got a tiny bit out of hand.<br/>hope y'all enjoy, and please feel free to let me know what you think of it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Akira Kurusu is a truly inexplicable being.</p><p>Some days, Goro is quite certain his rival-turned-ally is nothing short of a genius. After all, he's proven irritatingly capable of matching and outdoing Goro in everything from billiards to battle. He <em>must</em> be extraordinary.</p><p>Other days, however, Goro is far more given to theorising that Akira's cat steals his braincells while he sleeps. That must be why he does things so reckless and stupid that Goro has to wonder <em>how</em> this maniac ever beat him.</p><p>Case in point: they are currently alone together in the depths of Mementos.</p><p>Akira didn't even bring along the cat to ferry them about in car form - though Goro concedes that may be a blessing in disguise, because sitting in the cat-car tends to lead to inescapable thought-spirals about what happens to Morgana's organs when he's transformed and why it's so <em>warm</em> inside him and why he still purrs. On the other hand, though, Goro's legs are beginning to ache.</p><p>He's asked Akira why it had to be just the two of them. (Not that he <em>wants</em> to spend any more time around the rest of the Idiot Brigade than he absolutely must; they're just passably useful in battle and their presence helps dull Goro's ever-present craving for Akira's attention.)</p><p>Akira, who is a few paces away collecting flowers for Jose, turns to answer, "Training. I want us to perfect our joint attack so we can hurry up and get my therapist back." He shudders, one gloved hand pressed theatrically to his heart. "Human Morgana left me with a lot of issues, you know."</p><p>Goro, the unfortunate soul on the recieving end of Akira's increasingly unhinged texts during the time his cat was a human, sighs. "I've told you a thousand times. Finding him attractive while he was human doesn't make you a furry."</p><p>"And I've told <em>you</em>, I need someone qualified to tell me that," says Akira, pouting.</p><p>Goro thinks Kitagawa's pet lobsters are more qualified to be counsellors than Takuto Maruki, but he keeps that to himself.</p><p>Besides, it's clear that Akira is intentionally derailing the conversation with nonsense. He's got a smug look about him. Goro narrows his eyes and concludes that some ridiculous scheme is likely afoot. Akira hasn't looked quite this pleased with himself since their cafe outing a lifetime ago, and if that evening taught Goro anything it was never to let this man have his way.</p><p>He opens his mouth, intent on prodding for sincere answers, but a shiver down his spine halts him in his tracks. Loki scrapes at his consciousness, issuing ghostly snarls in his ear: <em>Shadows nearby. Kill - kill - kill -</em></p><p>"Joker." The code-name feels oddly foreign, despite how often he's used it. He wants to say <em>Akira</em>. "Shadows."</p><p>A brief glance reveals Joker's smug nonchalance hasn't shifted an inch, but his grip on his dagger's tightened minutely. He sinks into a familiar fighting stance: insolent, chin tipped upward. His eyes, glittering behind the white mask, invite Goro to join him in annihilating their enemies. Together.</p><p>Goro's breath catches. Heat builds, a frenzied buzz. Battle's always been a thrill, but with Joker at his side it's nothing short of <em>euphoric</em>. He feels himself grin, sharp and savage.</p><p>The Shadows reveal themselves to be a trio of Ose. They growl and posture, but Goro is already summoning Loki and barely hears them over the rush of pleasure. Loki's blade shreds one with ease. Joker fires a barrage of shots at another, then slinks in close to find its throat with his dagger.</p><p>Joker fights like calamity given form: lethal, a ruinous figure granting death with each measured movement. <em>Beautiful</em>. He laughs as he dispatches the Shadow, the cocky bastard, and Goro can't help but be fascinated by the wicked curve of his mouth.</p><p>Later, he'll pinpoint <em>that</em> as his first error.</p><p>While Goro is busy failing to control his thirst and Joker is busy showing off with a thoroughly unnecessary backflip, the third Shadow takes its opportunity to attack.</p><p>Snarling, the Ose lashes out. Its attack strikes Joker square in the chest and he stumbles, forced off-balance. He stays like that, his stance hunched and strange, and suspicion takes root in Goro's mind. He's seen this before.  A closer look exposes a vacant red hue dulling Joker's eyes. He's been hit with a status effect. Enraged. </p><p><em>Ah,</em> Goro thinks eloquently, <em>fuck.</em></p><p>"Joker, you're -" he begins, but Joker has already launched himself at the Shadow with a mangled growl.</p><p><em>Joker, you're so fucking hot when you're angry,</em> Goro finishes in the privacy of his own mind. And then, out loud, he calls, "You're enraged! Calm down, Joker!"</p><p>Naturally, he is ignored. Joker is feral and clearly far more interested in beating the Shadow to a pulp with his bare hands. He sinks his dagger into the Shadow, wrenches it out and plunges it in again - more intent on <em>hurting</em> than killing. </p><p>He can't help it, after all. Mercy has no meaning once the rage takes over.</p><p>Judging that he's better off staying back for now, Goro sheathes his weapon and allows Loki to fade. The fight will be over soon and the status effect will diminish on its own. Then he can go back to pretending he isn't hopelessly turned on by this display.</p><p>Moments later, the Shadow gives a pitiful shriek and crumbles away to nothingness. Joker remains hunched over, hand trembling where it clenches about his dagger.</p><p>"Have you calmed down?" Goro ventures when nothing else happens.</p><p>As if alerted by his voice, Joker twists to face him. His eyes, disconcertingly enough, are still a rusty red. But that shouldn't be right - the battle is <em>over</em>. Joker pants harshly, brow furrowed as if fighting some internal battle. He staggers upright, moving jaggedly like a mannequin, and lunges at Goro.</p><p>What the hell?</p><p>Goro dodges neatly. Are status effects supposed to last this long? What if it doesn't fade on its own?</p><p><em>Shit</em>, he didn't bring any healing items with him. </p><p>Before he can do more than curse Loki's refusal to perform restorative spells, Joker's on him again in a riot of movement. Goro evades, provoking a throaty growl of rage.</p><p><em>Hot.</em> Inconveniently hot. But he can't be distracted by that right now.</p><p>Ah - perhaps Joker thought to bring healing items. There's usually a never-ending supply of <em>things</em> in his pockets.</p><p>Goro makes a grab for him, barely avoiding a brutal hit. "Stand still," he hisses, scrabbling at Joker's coat. </p><p>Snatching at the pocket, he manages to close his fingers around something small. Unfortunately, his lapse in concentration permits Joker the opportunity to smack him across the face. It's a clumsy blow, but it knocks Goro's pointed black mask to the ground with a clatter. </p><p><em>Shit.</em> He lunges for it, but Joker grabs him by both shoulders and slams him bodily into the wall. The impact rattles his spine. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck.</em> He prays he's managed to steal a healing item. </p><p>A glance at his hand reveals, instead, a chocolate in the shape of a cat. "Ugh." He wants to beat Joker to death with it. This is useless and he hates Joker's stupid disorganised pockets. </p><p>The chocolate drops to the floor a moment later - Joker's managed to capture both of Goro's wrists in a tight grip, pinning them over his head. His body cages Goro in place against the wall. It really is quite a predicament. Joker's clearly restraining himself as best as he can, but this could become dangerous.</p><p>Also, Goro is hard.</p><p>Terribly so.</p><p>He is aware he's a touch-starved mess, thank you very much, but he hadn't anticipated precisely how <em>excited</em> his body would become in response to one singular scrap of physical contact. </p><p>"Isn't it about time you came to your senses?" he snaps, struggling against the hold.</p><p>Joker snarls, wrangling him with uncanny strength. The shift in position presses their hips together, forcefully. Goro's breathing goes shallow. He feels so <em>hot</em>, it's dizzying.</p><p><em>This is a natural bodily response,</em> he assures himself. Except that this isn't natural for Goro, because his natural response to most people touching him is the immediate desire to break their fingers. But Akira fucking Kurusu has always been a different story, hasn't he?</p><p>Joker is watching him with those red eyes. He trembles like he's fighting his condition, which prompts a new series of thoughts: precisely how lucid is he, and will he remember all of this when he snaps out of it?</p><p>Goro really needs to sort this issue out immediately. He doesn't want to imagine how unspeakably smug Joker will be if he learns he can get Goro hard and panting for it just by touching him. </p><p>The problem is that Joker seems to have recalled he has a dagger. He angles it directly beneath Goro's jaw, slotted between the slant of the bone and the jagged metal covering his neck. The blade kisses whispers of pain into the skin. Goro tells himself furiously to stop being turned on by it. </p><p>"Crow," Joker hisses through his teeth, barely coherent. "Please." He's reaching his breaking point. The blade drags a shallow, bloody line through Goro's skin. Joker's eyes flit to it, anguished. He shoves his face close to Goro's, a whine tearing from his throat. (<em>Oh,</em> Goro <em>likes</em> that sound - it does things to him.)</p><p>"Yes, alright," Goro mutters. He'll do something about this, hormones be damned. </p><p>If healing is out, he supposes the next best way to dispel rage is with a good solid punch. He'll need his hands free if he's going to smack the idiot out of this - he doesn't feel much like concussing them both with a headbutt.</p><p>The most efficent method is to shock his opponent into dropping his guard. </p><p>So he kisses Joker.</p><p>Just for a second. A fleeting crush of lips on lips. Just long enough to make his own head spin, which - wasn't the point of this. Joker makes a muffled sound and goes slack against him, dagger dropping away. </p><p>Seizing his opportunity, Goro wrenches his hands free and punches Joker directly in the face.</p><p>He only feels a tiny bit guilty about it. </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Goro hasn't touched himself in months, but that evening he can't seem to rid himself of the urge. The moment he arrives back at his apartment, he pulls the curtains shut and slumps onto the couch, yanking at his belt. </p><p>He'd expected to be consumed with thoughts of <em>that</em> moment: the knife chilling his skin and the pathetic temptation to grind his hips against Akira's. Instead, he's thinking about afterward: a disoriented Akira leaning against his shoulder ever-so-trustingly, mumbling apologies in his ear and gripping him around the waist for support. Akira had let go of him only when prompted to, reluctantly allowing himself to be pushed through the door of Leblanc to go sleep it off.</p><p>Goro's just gotten his pants open when his phone buzzes. He cranes his neck to see the screen. <em>Akira.</em></p><p>Of fucking course.</p><p>Goro glances from his pants, to his phone, and back. He sighs and goes for the phone.</p><p>A message is waiting for him in their private chatroom - the name of which Akira has changed,<em> again</em>.</p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <strong>Chatroom: nasty crimeboys (2)</strong>
  </p>
  <p><strong>akiwa kuwusu: </strong>so....</p>
  <p><strong>detective gowo uwu:</strong> Change these names. They make my brain scream.</p>
  <p><strong>akiwa kuwusu:</strong> make me</p>
  <p><strong>detective gowo uwu:</strong> I'm blocking you again. </p>
  <p><strong>akiwa kuwusu:</strong> WAIT WAIT OKAY HANG ON<br/>
<strong>akira:</strong> there, we're de-uwu'd</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Fine, but you're on thin fucking ice.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> SO, ANYWAY............</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> ..... What. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> ... you kissed me ;)</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> You'll recall that I punched you in the face immediately after.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> yes, but we're focusing on the part i enjoyed</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I personally enjoyed the punching part. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> that's because you're feral</p>
</blockquote><p>Well, Akira's got him there.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> besides, i'm pretty sure you were enjoying other parts too</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Absolutely not. The entire evening was a debacle.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> oh?<br/>
<strong>akira:</strong> your suit's pretty skintight, yknow. i could feel  e v e r y t h i n g</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Shit, fuck, shit. He remembers it all. </p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> i</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> yes, detective?</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I should've hit you harder.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> but you didn't :)))</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> That can be rectified.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> or...</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Or...?</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> or you could come back over and we could make out </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Goro doesn't answer for so long, Akira messages again.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> stop overanalysing. and before you ask, yes, i'm serious</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Oh fuck, how many braincells did I punch out of you?</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> come over and inspect me for damage yourself ;)</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> You must be aware that's a bad idea. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> why would that deter us?</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I just left, I'm not going all the way back.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> i'll pay your train fare</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Why are you being so stubborn about this? We shouldn't, and you know it. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> you aren't denying that you want to<br/>
<strong>akira:</strong> i'll shut up right now and never mention this again if you tell me you aren't interested in me</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I'm not saying I'm not attracted to you. There's little point denying that we have a... connection, of sorts.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> 'of sorts'</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Yes, alright, we have a connection. I'm just pointing out that things are complicated enough as they are. I shouldn't have kissed you. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> i've wanted to kiss you since we met. why do you think i invited you to mementos today?</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I had assumed you were plotting something.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> i just wanted to spend time with you!!!! you keep refusing to hang out with me unless it's for phantom thief stuff</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> And Mementos is your idea of ... a date?</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> well i tried to invite you to the movies and you called it brainless sentimentality so i had to improvise :/</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I stand by what I said. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> you're a real ass</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> And yet, you want to romance me in monster-infested tunnels... </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> listen here, mr 'I LIVE FOR BATTLE', i figured you'd have a good time murdering things. didn't expect to end up accidentally exposing you being horny for me, but here we are! :)</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Wipe that from your memory. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> alternate plan: you come over here and we stop avoiding our feelings</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Akira... don't do this to me.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> i'm sorry. i'm not trying to complicate things. i'm just akfsndkgnkfng!! i finally followed all my gay thoughts and touched you, but it was during a really shitty situation where i was hurting you and i just AAAAAAAAAAAA, y'know?</p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>Goro doesn't really know, but he's unfortunately becoming fluent in Akira-nonsense and can hazard a guess.</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I told you, it's fine. You couldn't help it.</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> it's not. i feel fucked up. no part of me should have enjoyed any of that, but i can't stop thinking about how you felt</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> ... I can't stop thinking about it, either. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> so why not do it?</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> Just tell me first... Are you saying these things out of guilt? Because you harmed me? Or because you feel like lording it over me that you have... that effect on me?</p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> akechi, no. i feel bad that i hurt you, but there's no agenda here. i just want you. and i figured i should make it clear that i'm available to be propositioned by you!</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> You're really something, Kurusu. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> sexy? mysterious? alluring?</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> I was thinking more along the lines of insane. There are a thousand reasons why you should want nothing to do with me. </p>
  <p><strong>akira:</strong> and yet, i want you. at least come over and talk to me about this in person?</p>
  <p><strong>goro:</strong> ... I'll be there soon. </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>He supposes he'd better zip his pants back up and go catch the train.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>The entire train ride is spent furiously contemplating his own descent into idiocy. Perhaps foolishness is contagious and he's spent too much time around Akira and his group. Goro has grown up priding himself upon his intellect, because at times in his life it has been literally all he's had, and here he is casting it aside in favour of thinking with his <em>dick</em>.</p><p>He'd be ashamed of himself if he possessed the slightest morsel of shame.</p><p>What was the one thing he promised himself after he and Akira made their deal? <em>Not to get too close.</em> Not yet. Not until they restore reality to what it should be. </p><p>Until then, he'd told himself, it would be cruel to get close to Akira only to risk losing it. Or, worse, to jeopardise all they've fought for by  becoming a hostage of this world - a temptation designed to trap Akira here, to lure him into abandoning their quest. </p><p>Already, Akira seems to be getting too attached to him. </p><p>He should be staying away. Even a moment's weakness could be dangerous.</p><p>But Goro never has been capable of staying away, and Akira has always been his weakness.</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>Leblanc's lights are on when he arrives. The door's locked, the sign flipped to closed, but Akira opens it the instant he knocks. He looks tired from their trip to Mementos, but alert and clearly pleased. Goro had braced himself to be met with smugness - or, perhaps, an immediate kiss. One never can predict what Akira will do.</p><p>Instead, Akira frowns deeply the moment he gets a good look at Goro, and yanks him by the arm into the empty cafe. "What the hell, Akechi?!"</p><p>"I was under the impression I'd been invited here," says Goro, baffled.</p><p>Akira shakes his head impatiently. "You were. I meant this." He gestures at Goro's neck. "Did you not clean your wound up?"</p><p>Ah. That little knife-cut below his jaw. He'd rather forgotten about that, in his rush to get home and pleasure himself. He raises a cautious hand to his neck and feels a thin trail of dried blood there. It's such a small injury and it's already mostly closed up, so it hardly seems to matter.</p><p>This <em>does</em> explain the strange looks the lady on the train kept giving him, though.</p><p>"It's only a little cut," he says patiently.</p><p>Akira sighs like <em>Goro</em> is the ridiculous one and proceeds to manhandle him up the stairs and into the attic bedroom. Goro finds himself pushed onto the bed in a rather less sexy manner than he'd envisioned.</p><p>"Stay there a sec," says Akira.</p><p>Goro bristles at the directive, but lounges at the edge of the bed like he'd decided to position himself there. Akira vanishes off back down the stairs. Goro can hear him rummaging around.</p><p>This bedroom is almost the same as it was the last time Goro was here for a Phantom Thief meeting, back in November. The glowing stars decorating the ceiling beams are new. It still has that strangely comfortable feel, welcoming and warm as if Akira's mere presence here has turned this tiny attic room into a home. It's quiet; the usual space that the cat occupies is empty tonight.</p><p>Before he can muse on it much further, quick footsteps announce Akira's return. He emerges from the staircase with a first-aid kit in one hand and a damp cloth in the other.</p><p>"No Morgana tonight?" Goro checks. The last thing he wants is for the cat to walk in on them. Not that he plans on doing anything.</p><p>"Sent him to Futaba's," says Akira, attention mostly on working the first aid box open. Upon succeeding, he sets the box on the bed and situates himself between Goro's legs, wielding the cloth. "Stay still, okay?"</p><p>"I'm not an infant," says Goro, irritated. He leans back just to be contrary. "I don't need you to clean me up."</p><p>Akira moves in close regardless, practically on Goro's lap and effortlessly brushing past defences as he always has. He tips Goro's head to one side. "I'm tenderly patching your wounds. There's a difference."</p><p>"It's barely a <em>wound</em>. I don't need your concern." Only weak people need to be fussed over, or at least that is what he's grown up telling himself. Goro may have been an undesirable little bastard born of scandal, but at least he wasn't <em>weak</em>. "You can keep your damned pity."</p><p>Ignoring both his complaints and the warning edging his tone, Akira soothes the cloth over the cut. Tiny rivulets of water stream down his neck, coloured faintly red from the dried blood. It stings, but Goro is accustomed to pain. It's the gentle touch that has him flinching.</p><p>"I'm so sorry," says Akira miserably, staring at the injury. "I shouldn't have let myself get into that state. It shouldn't have happened -"</p><p>"Oh, stop being so maudlin," Goro interrupts. "I didn't come here so you could get all soppy on me."</p><p>Akira sets his jaw, stubborn as ever. "If you want to ravish me, you gotta let me apologise first."</p><p>"You're such a damned do-gooder. And I haven't said I wanted that, yet."</p><p>"True." Akira nods as if conceding the point. The movement casts light onto the left side of his face, throwing a purpling bruise there into sharp relief. </p><p>Thoughtlessly, Goro reaches out. He grips Akira's jaw just beneath the bruise. Akira stills, letting him look.</p><p>"Seems I got you good, too," Goro murmurs.</p><p>"You could kiss it better," Akira suggests, voice dipping low and honeyed.</p><p>"I could give you a matching bruise on the other side of your pretty face."</p><p>Akira just laughs, the idiot, looking terribly pleased with himself. Goro lets go, and Akira continues patching him up in silence. He is achingly gentle, a far cry from the viciousness he exhibited mere hours ago. Strange how it elicits the same reaction in Goro, anyway: just like earlier, he's heated and oversensitive. A sweet tingle radiates across his skin, shadowing Akira's touch.  Goro holds very still and tensed, willing himself not to jolt or give away how <em>much</em> it feels like to him. </p><p>He hates this, he tells himself. It's awful. Disgusting. He hates it, hates Akira, hates himself. Hates that his ribs want to crack open and bleed out a galaxy of painfully-bright <em>emotions</em>.</p><p>Just because Akira Kurusu is treating his wounds like they matter.</p><p>"You okay?" Akira checks.</p><p>Goro nods stiffly.</p><p>Has anyone ever done this for him before? Anyone other than his mother, when he scraped his knee playing hero as a child? He recalls Mementos in the early days of discovering his power: barely sixteen and alone in the dark, no allies to pull him out if it got too rough and only an empty apartment to greet him when he stumbled home bloodied. Only his own vitriol to keep him going, bitter revenge directing a life devoid of sincere enjoyment.</p><p>Akira tips Goro's chin aside and coats the wound with antiseptic paste. He's so careful, so soft. He tapes a thin strip of gauze over it, fingertips brushing against bare skin.</p><p>Goro is so tired of self-control.</p><p>"You could kiss it better," he invites, tone low and deliberate.</p><p>Akira watches him keenly. "Is this you saying you want...?"</p><p>"I'm saying <em>touch</em> me."</p><p>Yearning grips him with a sudden ferocity. He knew it the moment he agreed to come here: he wouldn't be able to walk away. Why bother denying it anymore?</p><p>Akira's leaning in, unsatisfyingly hesitant, as if concerned Goro's going to take his words back.</p><p>"Touch me," Goro repeats, half-angry, half-pleading.</p><p>Breath skims his throat, the sensation startling him in spite of how badly he wants it. Akira's lips, soft and warm, graze the skin just above his pulse point. Goro's body locks in place. Akira moves higher, mouth finding the covered wound for a feather-light kiss. Pinpricks of pain echo the pressure, but far more important is the rush of heat through his veins. Goro shivers. <em>Fuck, fuck, fuck, he wants.</em> </p><p>"Again," he urges.</p><p>Akira's breath catches audibly. His hands settle lightly on Goro's shoulders, balancing himself as he leans in. Though prepared for it this time, Goro is still caught off-guard by the sweetness of lips brushing up the curve of his throat. He makes a quiet, ragged sound. What a wreck he is, shuddering in pleasure like this from a mere handful of kisses.</p><p>He'd like to drown in the feeling.</p><p>Reaching out, he catches hold of Akira's hips. A sharp tug has Akira tumbling willingly onto his lap. He's so warm, fitting against Goro's body like he was made to. He draws back from Goro's neck enough to smirk at him - probably has some cheeky comment poised on his tongue...</p><p>Goro shuts him up with a kiss.</p><p>Akira gasps into his mouth - <em>fuck,</em> it's so satisfying to surprise him - but responds with immediate enthusiasm, melting into the kiss and winding his fingers through Goro's hair. The suggestion of a taste lingers on his lips: something rich and ambrosial. Coffee - and sugar, and a hint of cream, the way Akira favours it. Goro wants to kiss him for hours, learn the feel of him and savour every little sound he makes.</p><p>Panting slightly, Akira disengages from the kiss. His cheeks are flushed. "Are we, uh... missing a few steps here...? I thought you hadn't agreed to -"</p><p>"I have now. Come back here; I wasn't done with you."</p><p>Akira shakes his head, but is apparently unable to tear his gaze away from Goro's mouth. Goro licks his lips, just to mess with him, and is rewarded when Akira inches nearer. "Akechi," he grumbles, strained. "You're the one who said it was complicated and we should talk..."</p><p>"I say lots of things." Since he isn't getting any kisses, Goro amuses himself by pressing his lips lightly to the bruise he left on Akira's jaw.</p><p>Knotting his fingers loosely in Goro's hair, Akira laughs. "You're incorrigible. I thought I'd at least have to seduce you."</p><p>Goro hums. "You think you're capable of that?"</p><p>"You think I'm not?" Akira teases, mouth curved wickedly. "Need I remind you of the effect I had on you earlier this very evening?"</p><p>He's never going to live the Mementos incident down, is he? "Shut up," Goro grumbles. "I hate you."</p><p>Unlike the last time he said those words, he meant it as a throwaway comment. But Akira pauses, expression gone solemn, and it's clear his flirty talk needs some work.</p><p>"Do you?" Akira asks, eyes steady and searching.</p><p>Does he? Did he ever? There's a confusing, aggravating tangle in his chest: envy-longing-bitterness-warmth-regret. Picking it apart has always been beyond him. He <em>thought</em> it was hate, once. Hate was the easiest name to assign to the clenching in his heart whenever Akira smiled at him.</p><p>"I..." Goro begins, for once quite unsure of what he wants to say. He thinks about Akira quietly accepting his declaration of hatred, and promising to duel him again, and holding onto his glove for all this time.</p><p>He thinks about his life as the charming, <em>perfect</em> Detective Prince, and how meeting Akira had felt like he could breathe again for the first time in years. The staggering relief of having <em>one</em> person in this entire shitty world that could keep up with him, challenge him, fascinate him. And how easy it was to twist those feelings into hostility because Akira was the one thing he never imagined he could <em>keep.</em></p><p><em>I need you,</em> he thinks, and that feels far closer to the truth. </p><p>Akira, watching him with those compassionate gray eyes, smiles like he understands. This time, he's the one to lean in for a kiss. Goro sinks into it, all his wretched feelings apparent in his absolute lack of reservation. There's no slow build-up to their kisses now; it's bruising and desperate, and Goro can't get enough.</p><p>Ever his mirror, Akira seems just as needy. He begins to roll his hips down. It's subtle at first, as if only half-aware he's doing it, but before long he's brazenly chasing the friction. Goro groans, gripping his hips to hold him still - it's so <em>much,</em> almost too much, and he's getting worked up so fast it's astonishing.</p><p>Akira outright whines, but the sneaky bastard's quick to change tactics. He kisses up the curve of Goro's neck instead, nipping at places that make him shiver. Before Goro knows it, he's using his grip to pull Akira more firmly onto him - only this time, Akira grins smugly and shifts his hips away.</p><p>"Tease," Goro accuses, voice rough.</p><p>"Mmm. If I made things easy for you, it'd be no fun," says Akira, pulling back to stare down at Goro with dilated pupils. He must see something he likes, because his expression goes dazed with want.</p><p>"If you made things easy for me, you wouldn't be <em>you</em>," Goro concedes, with a firm bite to Akira's lower lip. "Troublesome bastard."</p><p>Akira wiggles on his lap. "I'll take that as a compliment," he decides. "I like those."</p><p>"What," Goro mocks, "you want to be told how <em>good</em> you are?"</p><p>He was only half-serious, but Akira's breath goes uneven. "Maybe I do."</p><p><em>Interesting.</em> Goro slides his hands just beneath Akira's shirt, levelling him a haughty look and stroking the bare skin above his hipbones. "Maybe if you earn it."</p><p>The heat in Akira's gaze scorches. He grabs at Goro's shirt, seeming to want it off, but also seeming to want to be kissed and to pull at Goro's hair. He ends up accomplishing little other than vigorously mussing both of their clothes, so Goro takes over. He fumbles a little; he's never undressed another person before, and Akira's very little help. Getting them both shirtless takes a few moments.</p><p>He can't help but look. Fully clothed, Akira is tormentingly attractive. Bared like this, straddling Goro's lap and arched toward him, all lean muscle and smoky gray eyes, Akira is ... beautiful. Unbearably beautiful. Goro has the sudden, disconcerting feeling that he'll ruin him if he touches him.</p><p>Apparently suffering no such concerns, Akira presses closer. Goro watches his throat move as he swallows; his gaze drags over Goro's body hungrily.</p><p>"Must you stare?" Goro asks.</p><p>"You're staring at me, too," Akira points out, taking hold of Goro's wrist. As if he'd somehow sensed the emergence of reservations, he takes matters into his own hands and guides Goro to touch him: his chest, down past his ribs, and lower to the lines of his hips. Somehow, nothing feels ruined.</p><p>He didn't realise how raw it could feel to be half-naked with someone. Bodies have always been just bodies to him, flesh and blood and uninteresting. This feels intimate.</p><p>"You're..." Goro breathes. <em>Beautiful.</em> He's possessed by the most pressing urge to say it. The word sticks in his throat. </p><p>"I'm...?" Akira prompts. </p><p>Goro's lip curls. "...Adequate."</p><p>Amused laughter greets his lie. "That all I am?" Akira teases.</p><p>No. So much more. "You're... too much." He grabs Akira and tries to kiss him quiet, to keep him from making those words real by responding to them.</p><p>Stubborn as ever, Akira whispers, "So are you."</p><p>Goro can't take it. His hands shake. He's never felt so overwhelmed. Akira goes back to touching him; the pleasure is near-violent. Fingertips skim his collarbones and he arches his back, panting harshly. Breath warms his throat - then teeth press there, against his hammering pulse. He twists his hands into Akira's messy hair, feels Akira keen against his skin - files <em>that</em> sound and its cause away for later use. Their bare chests touch, he can feel Akira's heartbeat - Goro distantly hears himself cry out, low and desperate for more. His hands won't stop trembling.</p><p>He's half-aware of Akira coaxing him to lay back, but his focus is mostly on the warmth of the bare skin against his. He barely registers it as his head meets the pillow; there are far more interesting things to take note of, like the noise Akira makes when his earlobe is gently bitten and the way he shivers when his back's scratched. </p><p>In fact, Goro feels wholly dazed by proceedings right up until he opens his eyes and realises Akira's movements are slowing.</p><p>Despite the eager look in his eyes and the flush of his cheeks, he's clearly exhausted. He moves a little gingerly, as if the strain of their battles in Mementos are catching up to him. Even Goro is beginning to feel the after-effects.</p><p>Akira grumbles, apparently put out by Goro's momentary failure to pay attention to him. "Why're you stopping?"</p><p>It takes Goro a second to find his words. One heated make-out session and his brain's fucking useless. "You're exhausted," he points out. "You <em>did</em> get punched rather hard today."</p><p>"So?" Akira wets his lower lip with his tongue. The effort it takes not to give in and bite that lip is enormous.</p><p>"So," Goro enunciates, "though it pains me to say this, I probably shouldn't tire you out any further. We do need you intact for our mission, you know."</p><p>"Nuh-uh. I <em>want</em> you to tire me out," says Akira, hiding a yawn behind one hand and clearly already tired out.</p><p>Having cleverly deduced that kisses make Akira much more agreeable, Goro takes hold of his jaw and kisses him 'til he stops grumbling. "I'll tire you out another time," he murmurs.</p><p>"Hm." Akira pauses to think that over, seemingly pleased with the prospect of this happening again. "You promise?"</p><p>A moment's hesitation. "Promise."</p><p>Akira, now laying his head on Goro's shoulder, looks satisfied. "I'll hold you to that."</p><p>He also seems to be holding Goro <em>in place,</em> arms and legs tangled casually about him. When did he sneak into that position? Goro shifts, making an aborted movement toward his clothes, and is quickly wrangled back into the cuddle.</p><p>"Is this your way of telling me I'm staying the night?" Goro inquires, somehow keeping his voice steady in spite of his rapidly beating heart. He's never - been <em>cuddled</em> before. Not in his adult life, anyway.</p><p>"Mm-hm. Stay with me," Akira murmurs, and he's so fucking <em>cute</em> and <em>sleepy</em> that Goro is having trouble looking directly at him.</p><p>"I should... go. Back to my apartment." But if he stays here, he gets to keep this warm feeling for just a little while longer. He wants this feeling. </p><p>"S'late. Trains are stopped." Akira seems to know he's already won. He has the nerve to nuzzle into Goro's shoulder. Horrible, adorable bastard.</p><p>"...Fine." He really can't help himself. "But I'm not sleeping in my jeans."</p><p>A few minutes later, the lights are turned off, Goro is wearing a pair of borrowed sweatpants and his chest is serving as Akira's pillow.</p><p>Though attempting to sleep in new places usually leads to a night spent awake and hyper-vigilant, he finds he's able to slowly relax. Akira keeps drawing patterns on his skin with gentle fingertips, the sensation lulling and pleasant. Goro hesitantly begins to comb his fingers through Akira's hair, unaccustomed to exchanging soft touches. Every now and then they engage in quiet, sleepy conversations.</p><p>"Can I ask you something personal?" asks Akira a short while later.</p><p>"I suppose."</p><p>"Have you... ever done anything like this before?"</p><p><em>'This'</em> clearly refers to their earlier heated moment. He's asking if Goro's sexually experienced.</p><p>Goro averts his gaze.</p><p>"Goro," says Akira, softly. </p><p>The use of his first name startles him. It's always <em>Akechi.</em></p><p>He sighs. "If you must know, I haven't. I've never wanted to. With anyone." Before now.</p><p>"Never?" Akira prompts, seeming to want him to talk about it.</p><p>Goro has read somewhere that touches and kisses can stimulate the brain and produce hormones that calm the body. He wonders how flooded he is right now with stupid cuddly brain chemicals, because trusting Akira with this doesn't seem like the worst idea.</p><p>"Look," he says, "you know my history. I dedicated my entire life to my revenge plan. You can put two and two together and understand why I distrust most people, and why I haven't gotten close to anyone."</p><p>Akira nods, brows furrowed.</p><p>"And..." Goro continues, "I've never met anyone I could tolerate longer than a minute or two. Certainly never anyone I wanted to touch. The thought of someone putting their hands on me - it's sickening. I'd never have allowed it."</p><p>"Ah... That makes sense," says Akira.</p><p>Goro eyes him. "You look surprised."</p><p>Seeming to debate how best to answer, Akira says, "I hope you don't take this the wrong way. I suppose, knowing you, I'd assumed you'd be experienced."</p><p>Goro wonders if he should be offended. He isn't, particularly. He's always rather admired Akira's tendency to not mince his words. Besides, this means Akira's thought about what he'd be like in bed.</p><p>"What, did you wonder if I'd fucked my way into anyone's good graces for the sake of my<em> Detective Prince</em> act?" he asks, brows arched. "I didn't. That was the one part of me that was still mine."</p><p>Akira shakes his head. "I didn't mean it like that. Just - you're genuinely the most competitive human I know. I thought, given your need to be good at <em>literally everything</em>..."</p><p>"You thought that extended to sexual prowess?" He wants to laugh. "How flattering."</p><p>Subdued pink lights Akira's cheeks. He's bashful, Goro notes with glee. </p><p>"Says the guy who once wanted to race me to see who could get dressed faster," says Akira pointedly. "You <em>know</em> you like to be the best at everything. I could just kinda imagine you perfecting your sex skills in case you ever needed to flaunt 'em."</p><p>"Oh." Goro can't help it: he snorts, suddenly finding it hilarious. Akira really has got him there. "...In what possible situation would I have needed to flaunt that?"</p><p>"On 'Good Morning Japan'?" Akira suggests, affecting the host's voice. "And now for our newest segment - Detective Prince Goro Akechi is here to tell us all about his dick-sucking technique!"</p><p>Goro gives a disgusted groan, but it only makes Akira laugh harder.</p><p>"You know," he muses, "they did ask me about my dating preferences once, but I swerved the question. I was hardly going to tell them I'm so repulsed by most people that I wanted to snap the host's arm when he put it around my shoulders."</p><p>Akira grins, tracing his fingertips over Goro's chest. "But it's okay when I touch you?"</p><p>"We've established that, yes," Goro says, rolling his eyes.</p><p>"Just wanted to hear you say it."</p><p>"Shut up and go to sleep, you absolute nuisance." His tone comes out unintentionally <em>fond</em>. How horrifying. </p><p>"Mm." Akira wiggles 'til he's enclosed in Goro's arms and then, apparently content, closes his eyes. "Goodnight, Goro."</p><p>"...'Night, Akira."</p><p>He sleeps better that night than he has in months.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>thank you for reading this! i wanna note that it wasn't written with any particular plot in mind and more as a meandering excuse to air my akeshu headcanons, so it might be a slightly messy read. i hope you enjoyed it anyway! i'm planning on fleshing it out as a proper series.</p><p>and now please have a few further fic notes for your enjoyment.</p><p>- the reference akechi makes to his thought-spirals while inside the morgana car is based off some of his third-semester mementos dialogue where he's like "it's so weird that we're actually /in/ mona.....". imagining him silently freaking out about the logistics of it all gave me a laugh. </p><p>- akechi to akechi: focus on training.  - also akechi: you're in a cat-car you're in a cat-car you're in a cat-car you're in a cat-car</p><p>- akechi references yusuke's lobsters at one point and for those of you like 'why would he even know about the lobsters', please consider my dumb headcanon. there's some thieves den dialogue where akechi accuses yusuke of something like 'driveling on again' or talking nonsense again. it made me wonder how much yusuke-nonsense he's been exposed to during his time with the phantom thieves to sound this Done with it. like, that's definitely the tone of a man who's had to listen to far too much weirdness.</p><p>- which got me thinking. i think akechi likes aquatic creatures, hence his trip to the aquarium earlier in the game. once yusuke learns this, he Absolutely insists on bombarding akechi with lobster pictures and stories about how radiant his lobster children are. </p><p>- i tend to imagine yusuke as the phantom thief most likely to accept akechi as part of the group, or at least have an easier time with it than the others. their pasts have certain similarities and i imagine yusuke might look at akechi as the kind of person he himself could have become, had his life gone differently. he can definitely at least empathise. hence the lobster pictures. akechi secretly likes them. </p><p>- akira's coat pockets are organised chaos that only he can navigate. akechi had like a one-in-fifty chance of actually pulling a healing item out of there. this is partially a game mechanic reference bc i can say from experience while playing through that i had SO MANY items in my inventory that never got used. it's partially a headcanon that akira loads his pockets with snacks for yusuke while in mementos. someone's gotta feed that boy.</p><p>- the fic title and initial idea for it are based on akechi's infamous navi-line about liking it when joker's enraged. thank you atlus for confirming he's horny on main for angry joker. akechi navi dlc for the entire game when?</p><p>- i realise akechi's actual first instinct when faced with an enraged joker would probably just be to smack him right away, but then how would i manufacture my sexual tension? </p><p>- akechi refusing hangouts and referring to it as 'brainless sentimentality' is a direct game quote. i just wanted to take him back to the aquarium in third semester but no, apparently we don't have time for that. it's nice that he'll still turn up at the church confessional as long as you tell him it's for the phantom thieves though. </p><p>- i tried to make it clear that my headcanon for akechi's refusal to get close to joker during third semester is his knowledge that he may not be alive irl. i like to think akechi at least thinks there's a good chance he survived shido's palace (i'm sure he has a line about being offended joker /didn't/ think he survived) but since he doesn't know that for sure, he doesn't want to get close and risk hurting joker worse by vanishing on him later. he's being kind in his own abrasive way. </p><p>- i'm never sure how game mechanics function with injuries sustained in mementos - do they fade once you leave the cognitive world or whatever? i can't remember if the game actually addresses it, but for the purposes of this fic the wounds don't fade. </p><p>- akechi has to do the walk of shame past sojiro the morning after sleeping over. he's startled to note sojiro doesn't look the slightest bit shocked and in fact asks him if he wants some coffee before he goes. </p><p>- part two of this fic, when i get it written, will more than likely include far more sexual situations. that was initially going to happen right away in this fic, but it felt a little too fast and i have a terrible need to spend far too much time fleshing out relationships. </p><p>- thank you again for reading!! i have a tumblr if you wanna come say hello or tell me your persona 5 headcanons! - jokeragenda.tumblr.com</p></blockquote></div></div>
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